I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
