this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
