one two three fourrrrnication!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
