There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I queefed so loud it echoed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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