Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
