he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drake has all the answers
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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