I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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