I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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