Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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