Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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