yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I just put wine in my tea
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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