Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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