I need to stop coming to work sober
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
