I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
