gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
