I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
PANTIES FOUND
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