how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
