normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
