You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
