There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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