I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
