There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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