I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Houston, we have a blender
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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