Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
They took my balls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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