This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
