i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
