dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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