That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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