i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize