I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
