i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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