I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is it penis luge time yet?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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