nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
