And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize