Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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