I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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