Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
