Its about making memories worth repressing
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize