If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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