Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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