We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
