were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
