There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
