shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
