Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
