were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
