How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
