I just saw a hot homeless man
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
