he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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