I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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