i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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