So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
