Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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