Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize