is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
