By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
