It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
