Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
