When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can't turn off my feet"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
