She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize