i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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