went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
